“Associate yourself with men of good quality…‘tis better to be alone than in bad company.”
– George Washington
First off, I’d like to take a moment to correct a recurring grammatical mistake that plagues social media…
womAn (note the ‘a’), singular, a woman.
womEn (note the ‘e’), plural, multiple women.
Same principle as mAn vs. mEn.
Okay, moving on.
So…sorry to be bringing up politics again, but this is driving me bonkers. I want to make it clear that I am not a fan of Trump (nor Hillary) and I didn’t vote for either.
Yes, I agree with everyone who is calling our new president a pervert, but I can’t help but notice the irony that many, many women who are calling him that are part of the reason creeps like Trump think they can get away with saying and doing the nasty things they say and do.
So all of a sudden we have a president who has said and done nasty thing and now everyone is making a big deal about this behavior? Trust me, Trump isn’t the only creeper out there, and horrible behaviors like his occur all around us. And unfortunately much of it is self-imposed. What I’m trying to say is: yes, ladies–females are in part responsible for bad men’s distasteful behaviors.
Stop feeding into their perverted ways and habits.
How long did we honestly think we could allow men to touch us wherever they wanted to touch us and talk to us and treat us however they wanted and do to us whatever they wanted to do to us before it became “normality” in their minds? (No, I am not excusing bad men for their bad behaviors, but we can do better to help them do better).
Many of the ladies complaining about how awful Donald Trump is have probably slept with men who were most likely far more racist, perverted, single-minded, and violent than Mr. President is. Let’s put an end to the hypocrisy.
Ladies, if we want to be respected, then we’ve got to start respecting ourselves.
And how do we do that?
- Don’t give a man exactly what he wants.
Too many women think, “If I sleep with him, he’ll stay with me.” Or, “If I sleep with him, he’ll like me.” This mentality is devastatingly sad. And if women continue giving creeps like Trump exactly what they want, then things will only get worse and worse. They’ll continue to think they can just use you to fill their needs. Put your foot down and say “NO!”
Our first president, George Washington, said, “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
Don’t give everything to a man unless he’s willing to give you everything in return. Which brings me to my next point…
- Demand commitment.
If they like it, make them put a ring on it. Tell them they only get the whole deal if they’re in it to stay. If they walk away, let them, because jerks like that aren’t worth your time. Lay down the law. Let them know you have expectations; make complete fidelity one of those expectations.
- Stop using derogatory terms to describe yourself and other women.
The “B word” and “whore” need to vacate every woman’s vocabulary. It’s not okay to use these belittling terms casually. Why would creeps stop using them if women themselves use them over and over?
- Be the kind of person you want to be with.
Do you want to be with someone who is kind? Then be kind. Do you want to be with someone who is loyal? Then be loyal. Do you want someone who is honest? Then be honest. Do you want to be with someone who is respectful? Then be respectful.
- Put yourself in the right places at the right times (and avoid the wrong places at the wrong times).
Yes, it’s true that perverts and creeps are everywhere, but there are some places where they are more likely to hang around, and avoiding those places will give you a better chance of avoiding the creeps. Going to a strip club expecting to find a decent man is like going to the dump expecting to find diamonds. Just don’t go there. If you don’t like trash, then stay away from the dump.
In conclusion, if you’re sick of being seen as a mere object of pleasure, then stop being a mere object of pleasure. By withholding your sex and affection from men until they prove they are worthy, you will show them that you know you are more–you will make it clear as day that you respect yourself way too much to stoop to their disgraceful level. Make those men work for it; you’ll be doing them–and the entire world–a favor.
If you don’t think it’s cool for men to say nasty things, let them know. If something happens that infringes your personal comfort, safety, privacy, and rights, do something about it. Don’t fall into the traps of fame and wealth. I don’t care who it is–don’t let them treat you horribly and get away with it.
Remember your children are watching. Do you want your daughters to think it’s normal for their boyfriends to be abusive? Do you want your sons to learn it’s okay to abuse women? Teach them right and remember that they see everything you do and, for better or worse, they’ll learn from it, too.
Women have a great influence over men and it’s up to us to put an end to this rape culture and show those jerks we will be respected and valued–show them we won’t put up with it. Never underestimate your ability to be an influence for good in the world.
And here are some empowering quotes. Go change the world, women–one man at a time!
“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.”
? George Washington
“Daughter! Get you an honest Man for a Husband, and keep him honest. No matter whether he is rich, provided he be independent. Regard the Honour and moral Character of the Man more than all other Circumstances. Think of no other Greatness but that of the soul, no other Riches but those of the Heart. An honest, Sensible humane Man, above all the Littlenesses of Vanity, and Extravagances of Imagination, labouring to do good rather than be rich, to be usefull rather than make a show, living in a modest Simplicity clearly within his Means and free from Debts or Obligations, is really the most respectable Man in Society, makes himself and all about him the most happy.”
? John Adams
The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. – Margaret D. Nadauld
“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”
– Anaïs Nin
“Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures.” – D. Todd Christofferson
“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”
– Brigham Young
“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
– George Carlin
“For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdomreceiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light…” – Doctrine & Covenants 88:40
There’s so, so, so, so, SO much more I could write considering this topic, but I’ll be lucky if anyone actually takes the time to read this as it is. But I just want to make it clear that I am not excusing men for these bad behaviors; they are not innocent. They have agency and will be held accountable for their own decisions. Doesn’t matter what the circumstances are–we are all responsible for our own behaviors.
Check out my post “What a true love’s kiss is really like” to read more of my thoughts about relationships.